Sunday, August 11, 2013

The X-File: Y X?

"I can't help but feel a sense of envy that she had him before me, and he had feelings for her. Feelings that were supposed to be exclusively for me." - Jen Kim, The Power of the Ex-girlfriend

So I stumbled upon this interesting article this morning (yes, you can click it away). It's called "The Power of the Ex-girlfriend" (don't ask me how I found this article), and as much as I think the title sounds creepy, I'm glad somebody spit this topic out in a blunt (yet fun) way. I'm glad there's somebody (and now I'm pretty sure there are many of them) who feels exactly what I feel about that highly annoying alphabet: X. More to add: the boyfriend's X.

You can go there and read it yourself, and perhaps nod your head several times (like I did) and cheer because jealousy is both normal and abnormal. It's so human, and so consuming as well. And the way you feed it affects the level of insecurity you grow in your body, mind, and soul.

There are 4 specific points that the author, Jen Kim, pointed out as "thoughts she has compiled over the years" about this ex-girlfriend thingy. I might as well conclude them as jealousy, insecurity, delusion, and pure ego. I found one intriguing statement (and put it right at the beginning of this post) that slapped me right in the face. (with some addition to that: and she had stolen his family's heart away, pretty much involved in many of his family events, pictures et cetera et cetera blah blah blah).

I may compile the compile thoughts, I guess I will put it this way:
"it's all about running an imaginary competition"
in which the question will be:
"how can I compete with her?"
And here's the big news: it's p-o-i-n-t-less POINTLESS. And if you keep involving in such competition, it will end up being ENDLESS, unless you realize another intriguing thing Kim stated: "what's interesting about these obsessions is that they usually last only as long as the relationship with the boyfriend lasts."

The thing is, would you let this one tiny little unimportant ex-girlfriend be such a powerful wonderwoman or what? Letting her indirectly ruining your relationship? Na-ah.

What is so amazing about past is that it may affect some details at your present, but it will NEVER EVER be your present.

Until you realize that one question has only one answer: Y X? Because it's your mind clinging too hard onto the past and wandering too far creating such wild imagination, that's Y.

my own made insecurity speaking;