Thursday, April 25, 2013

*put any emoticon here*

"People change. Feelings change. It doesn't mean that the love once shared wasn't true and real. It simply just means that sometimes when people grow, they grow apart." - (500) days of summer.

There's a guy. He was my bestfriend. "Was", because sadly I don't know where we stand now. We used to talk a lot. We used to share almost everything. We completed each other's sentences. We called each other bestfriends. Because of something, I guess we are falling apart; drifting away from each other. I don't know what that "something" exactly is, though.

See, the worst feeling ever isn't not being able to talk to the one you used to talk to, but not knowing how, why, and since when it all happened. We now barely talk; it seems to me that he even avoids me. And yup, I don't know how and why and since when it all began.

Many questions are running through my head, and I keeps assuming. I know, why don't I just ask? That will make things clearer, won't it? Gah. Not a chance. Not an answer. I even started to believe that he himself doesn't know what's going on.

All I know that he keeps messing with my head. In some points, I know there's something wrong with him, with us. But in some points, he can come and make everything looks pretty normal, before it's back abnormal again the other day.

Yesterday, I stumbled upon this one particular quote. It said "sometimes you just outgrow people. Don't try to fix it or repair it, just accept it and move on." Dang! As if a million knives had just been stabbed to my back, it hurt. So much.

Over and over again, I've been trying to fix things up; mending my friendship with him. The worst part is I don't even know what I'm trying to fix. I always thought that there's something left, eventhough it's just a tiny little piece of us. I keep asking myself why; keep assuming how. I keep trying to take back what I had yesterday, despite the fact that it has been gone away. He keeps messing with my head, and mostly because I let him to. *sigh

Well yeah, I guess sometimes we just outgrow people. No need to ask why. People who meant to stay in our life will stay eventually, but those who don't will leave, sooner or later. No matter how precious he is. No matter how much he means to me. No matter how my heart and head keep telling me that he's the one.

I just miss him so much. End of conversation.

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