Do I need a totem?

Have you watched Inception? It's one of Nolan's genius arts that completely blows my mind. It's about a group of people who enter someone's dream in order to steal some information. They build and create some certain plots and thoughts and 'incept' them into their target's dream. There, they can get whatever information they need through their target's subconscious mind. Sometimes they get into a layered dream, dream within dream, that may confuse them to unravel the dream itself. Therefore, they need a 'totem'. It's an object used to tell them whether they're dreaming or not based on its behavior. It will act differently in the dream world, like for example Mal's (one of the character there) totem won't stop spinning. If it stops, Mal is not dreaming. Later the totem is owned by his husband, Cobb.

Dream and reality always stand side by side. We dream because there's reality. And reality is there to encourage us to pursue our dream.. or there to ruin and destroy it. They can be either angelic or evil, depends on how we see them. Sometimes people can be so scared of dream and reality; and it's simply because dream is not real and most of the time, reality is not as kind as dream.

And sometimes I feel like living in my dream. It's the world as I see it; it exists based on my faith. Sometimes I dream so hard that I put my faith on that dream and I consider it as reality; thus I believe that it is real. The border between dream and reality seems so hazy. I believe that my faith is never wrong, and by saying it.. that's the faith. Sometimes a part of me says that I'm just dreaming while another says that it's real.

And sometimes I see reality as a dream. Sometimes it seems too good to be true, or vice versa, it seems so mean that I believe that's not real. Sometimes I just don't believe something does happen. Sometimes I'll go back to what I consider as my 'reality' and leave the so-called reality behind. Sometimes reality is too unacceptable; not real enough to be real.

Sometimes I stand in between; dream and reality seems calling me to take sides. Then the questions are here. How we define dream and reality? How we separate them when dream seems so real and reality seems so fake? How we know that reality is real while the other is fake? Or should we just let them be whatever we think they are?

It's inexplicable. I need to be told whether I'm dreaming or not. I need a totem.

Maybe.